unrealistic.

ok, its not realistic at all. im suddenly swarm with anxiety. im pretty sure i've presented everything today, but something is so wrong here, did i really pass up everything ? did i finish my hmw ? shit, still need to do wat yar ? goshhhh, im suddenly so anxious now. T______T everything happen like a lightning strike, im still not use to the boredom im feeling now, i need something to do or some activities to warm me up , to fill up the emptyness. its getting pretty scary, thinking of projects and assignments now and then although everything is over and i have a freaking 4 months hols. i need to do something , something . . . to get rid off this anxiety. gonna email for intern tomoro and do some room chores, read some books and watch some movies. . . . hopefully i dun wake up in anxiety like i alway does usually.

LET ME REPEAT THIS ONCE AGAIN !

ADELIME TAN I-YING , U R OFFICIALLY OFF FOR 4 MONTHS, STOP THINKING OF ASSIGNMENTS !

bestest friends.

ouwhhh ! i reli miss my bestest friend so so so much . =( it seems like a decade since we gossip and exchange lil' useless topics and we-think-its-a-secret kind of secret . Those days were the best, we would phone each other every single day. (yes, seeing each other in class is just not enough for both of us =) ) we would talk talk, chat chat, gossip, gossip till our parents have to pay the shocking bill >.<>what u and hui ying always talk r ? so many things to say wan meh, canot go to school and talk meh . HAHAHA. and i would always reply OF COURSE CANOT LAR. CANOT WAIT LAR~ =P ouwwh, i miss her. she is literally my other half, she is the shadow of me, she is my pillar of support when i was unhappy. true enough we have our fair share of ups and downs, there was a period where both of us was so freaking busy with our own life that we left out each other from our lives. and i almost thought, ok we are done ! i accepted the fact that, we cant keep someone to ourself, people change, so do us. may be this is where our frindship stop and i shud jz let it go and be grateful for the fact that we were once the bestest friend. i cried so hard when i finally decided on that fact. silly me. i should have know, good friends, mutual friends, buddies, strangers may walk out of your life but not your bestest friend ! u cant just throw those years of friendship down the river and forget about it. bestest friend stays forever permanently. she's my emma, im her liv =) we are now the same as before ! it had never been better. =D in fact, bare in mind that, friendship needs time investment, dun ever shoo friends off with the excuse of being busy. they are where we are now.

we cant wait to see each other. im counting off the days till we meet, when that time comes, i wan to hear the full story of yesterday's cut short version of when rock star meets classic princess =D . love u much =D

here's a note by my ex-english tutor that i think is worth pondering on.

" So are you still BUSY? I'm sure there's a moment in time that we are not. If you could have time to chat online with a random stranger, you could have picked up the phone and call your dear friend. If you could have the time to play games at home, you could have spend the evening for a football game (example) with your friends or even coffee...If your friends could spend time for you, why can't you? People are too keen to make new and more friends, but they just freaking don't know how to retain those friends they make...It's not the volume, it's the quality. "

stay posotive.

so, its really not dat exciting anymore counting to the days till we have our long hols. its actually gettting stressfull and annoying, really. the start of the long hols means its the end of the big ass final project. . .. . . which seems no where now. i cant see the process and the ending. its slowly, slowly injecting fear into me. im trying to cope with all the stress and all, keeping my fingers cross now. and im so freaking annoyed of myself, why am i always in a sleepy mode. it only got worse after burning midnight oil for 8 days. after submitting the final model, i totally lost my spirit and soul. i sleep all day long whenever i can. rest turn into short nap, short nap turns into deeep lonng sleep. T______T . i cant afford to be sleepy nowadays, there is definitely something wrong with my body system now. 19 days ! 19 freaking days to my long hols, and to the deadline of my final ! WOOT ! praying real hard for it. smile , smile, SMILE =) i am happy, glad and appreciate all the comfort and encouragement i receive from my mates. all the best to all of us ! jiayou !

* like what alvin says , THINK POSITIVE, STAY POSITIVE, GOOD MORNING =D

so near yet so far.

we are best friends, but we are so near yet so far. when i look back at my photos now, i realise that you're missing in most. when i looked at your's i too realise i was not in most of your pictures. i wish i could be n coz those pictures look great. it make me wonder why it wasn't me on the pictures. why i never knew this till i saw the pictures. i wonder if we will still look good in pictures together.

FML

no words can really express what im going thru and feeling right now. The only appropriate word that i can think of is . MY LIFE MACAM SHIT !

I HATE MODEL -MAKING TO THE MAX !

I HATE MEASURING !

I HATE COLOUR SPRAY !

I HATE NT CUTTER !

I HATE PRINTING EVERYTHING IN COLOURS !

I HATE GOING TO EXPEDITE !

I HATE EVERYTHING TO DO WITH THE WORD " INTERIOR " OR " ARCHITECTURE "

I HATE EVERYTHING !

MY LIFE RIGHT NOW SUCKS BIG TIME !

* im looking forward to monday. after monday. im gona sleep hard and play hard. * for one day *

FML !

its been a long time !

ellooo ! ok i knw its been a long time since i blog. bout a month ago ??! have been burried under a huge bundle of assignments and projects ! i barely can breath till now ! which is the so called * holiday * =.= deep breathe * i cant imagine the crazy workloads that im gonna face for the next coming weeks ! but the good news is, its the freaking long hols sooooon !!! =) yeepee . cant wait for the trips with my frens. lalala ~ but before i step my foot onto the ground of pleasure, i'll have to cross de bridge of hell first ! wish me luck !

anyway ! i've deleted my previous post which i frown at everytime i log in my blog! its not me really. so just forget about it ! i was boling hot back then, in a hurry to complete my 3ds. * look at what projects did to me ! they turn me into a tigress ! * =( .

i've done another music brochure ! =) turn out pretty fine =) although its for free again. i do hope i can have more to do in the big hols, which may be i can start charging them ! im more happy doing graphics =) considering going for intern in the bigb hols too, but its still in the process. wait till i manage to escape from the bridge of hell first =)

p/s : buh bye, its another lousy post. oh ! i have two new roomies ! two lil cute one, hope to get along well with them ! but none of them beats cayenne and zhinee =) miss them occasionally.

cure that pain please

help T__________T. can someone just wake up and sent me to a clinic nowwwww =( ! WAKE UP EVERYONEEEEEEE ANYONE ! im half dead now ! of all the time u had to come at this time ! in the middle of 4 am ! after coming back from hoay phing's belated b'day, i went to bed early. for two hours i endure de pain of gastric, and finally i cant take it anymore T_______T its killing me man ! and everyone is asleep =( and i naively tot aww how good i can sleep early tonight n wake up fresh for tomoro's lecture =( hope it goes off before 6, at least i have 2 more hours left of sleep.

im starting to get really worried about my health now. all my family members have the record of serious gastric except me. and now, im having it too. thanks to my unhealty diet and eating style =( its not the first time now. hav been complaining of stomach ache for de pass few days ! omg, cayenne help me ....am i having stomach cancer ??? =( its not like im forcing myself to go on diet, but im jz too lazy to tapao or cook . i have no motivation to cook now. and i dun even feel hungry, not until dinner time. had been having one meal a day this few days, and after every freaking meal ! i get gastric !!!! GRRRrrrrrrrrrr. im real scare now. i dunwan to have gastric like my parents. its so bloody torturing. i promise i will start eating normal from tomoro .....please just cure that pain T_____________T i want to sleep =(


hope the medicine i consume just now helps ! =( T_____________T

see you next time =)

whenever someone leaves room1. i drown myself into a complete denial state, refusing to actually accept that i have yet another goodbye to bid. The business of bidding goodbye have never been "use to it" for me. i hate bidding goodbye in blogspot to roomies, i hate reliving the time we spend together, but then , thats the only way for me to express what i couldn't say face to face and they all deserve a post from me =)

dear zhini =),

im so happy to have u as my roomie. u r so far one of the most quirky yet fun and full of knowledge roomie i ever had =) *im lucky and gratefull to have all wonderfull roomies*

i love chatting with you =) i love being temporary very *kepochi* about the entertainment industry =) it has alwayz been a fruitful discussion which nobody but you and i are interested in =) if not for ur existence as a student in kbu, i would think that may be you are one of the paparazzies =)

you are the only friend that actually agrees with me on the great potential of the late yasmin ahmad's production. i guesse i will never have that same passionate respond again. =( * who want to teman me go watch yasmin ahmad's production in cinema huh ?

i seriously and with respect salute u for your great ability in chinese writting. i love every words that you type out in your blog, i love the way you express yourself with your own magical words =) for a dummy in chinese like me, your words are an inspiration =) im not exagerating ya, u seriously have to continue blogging ok ! i dunno why , but im addicted to your words and style of writting =) keep it up !

like cayenne, i would like to say thank you for all the patience and tolerances with me. i know i know, im not a clean freak. *sigh, this would be the only thing i felt so sorry* sorry and thank you again =)

will surely miss another hungry ghost in the middle of the night =) u made me feel better having maggie in the middle of 3. who will teman me eat supper again huh ?*sigh. . .. i have to find another victim now . . . .

you are also one of the few among my frens that would discuss about the hypocrisy of the politic world with me. will surely miss those chats and discussions =)

for such a young age, you are one hell of a genius ! u know almost everything ! from the entertainment industry to the world of politics ! i feel so small T__T keep it up ya zhini =)

to end everything in short, you are unique, smart, small, quirky, and knowledable =) nice knowing you. we may never meet again, or we may meet again in one fine day , u have my deepest earnest regards =) its not going to be a smooth sail doing yout degrees , hope everything sail smoothly ALL THE BEST =) * to me you are always the smart one =) *


朋友当中最" HIAO " 的 LING ZHI NI -------------------------- 再见咯 =)


p/s : 下次见面时我要看到穿乞丐裤，背着乞丐包，拖着乞丐鞋的你哦 =）



慕橙上

another farewell.

oh why oh why? do i have to endure the loss of two roomies in such short period ? T___T the blur one went away, and now the little one is crawling away too. i felt the same amount of sadness and unwillingness to let this one go, but i guesse i can handle it better this time =).Not in a great mood this few days but am doing good =)may be dats why i slept so much like nobody business, im just trying to sleep off the unwillingness and hope tomoro never comes. im sad to the amount that i dread going shopping tomoro with my best fren in the whole wide world. i just want to sleep again =(

p/s: im relying on tomoro's shopping spree to lightend up my mood =) night world.

i lied

ok. IM FREAKING LOUSSSSSYYYYYYYYYY AT LYING. gosssssssssshhhh! that was hard . ask me to do anything but not lie.

haapeee ~

in the college now ! waiting for my 3d max class to start !=D someone invite me to join him to "play" in the computer lab wahhhhh =.= im freaking sleepy and tired physically, but finally, IM FREE OF PROJECTS AND ASSIGNMENTS ! WOOOHOOOOO! teeeheeeeee~ oklar, not free of all, kbu college its not that generous, not in a million years. i still have research and analysis to do for my next project which is my FINAL PROJECT. but lets not spoil the mood now. its CNY in three weeks time !!!! happeeeee! gonna have dinner with huiying and annhwang tonight ! hapeeeeee =) i can finally have a good sleep tonight =D hapeeeeee !

ok. this is yet another random post. sorry for this boring post. bye. i'll do better after i have a good 12 hours of sleep =) see you on the next post.

p/s: someone say my blog no pictures very boring wahhh ~ in fact, i've never intend to make this a photo blog =.= i do post some occasioanally when i feel like i want to ok. ish! wan see pics go facebook lar ck.

randomly

im surprise at how the word " keep in contact ya "came out from ur mouth. say less of it unless u meant every of your words.

happy belated birthday xinhui =)

im damn sleepy now ........ BUT ! i had a wonderful night full of laughters with a bunch of fabulous friends =) its dear xinhui's belated birthday celabration ! hutang u the birthday prezzies first ya. its been a long time since we hang out and have fun like tonight. missing those days, but what to do we are the future designers =) all in all, i had fun tonight !especially in ck's car. =D will post up all the photos soon ....for now, T_________T i shall resume back to my cad drawings . goodluck everyone. we'll have a shopping date after this yar =)

random post

ok, im shuddering right now. not because of the cold weather but because of some random message my senior just posted up in facebook.

the storm was heavy~the storm was brutal~ but we manage to survive till the end~ non of us quit~non of us is a quitter ~we are the toughest designer of all ! - raymond-

i can feel the intensity im about to face in year 3. gosh. totally freak me out. any situation using the word "storm" to decribe aint goin to be a good one. i hope i can post that up when its my turn to have a taste of that "storm" we'll wait and see =)

january 2010

Here goes my extremely late pending welcome speech for year 2010 =)

2009 was definitely one hell of a year. Happy, delighted, surprises, emo, frustrated, dissapoinment, fun, u name it ! i endured it all in one whole year =D cant say its a brilliant year but definitely not a bad one too =) like i said, life is never a bed of roses , but never a bed of thorns too. I'll just leave the past in the past and paint 2010 with pretty hues of rainbows adding on a few sparkles =)

almost every of my peeps had alredy made their new year's resolution for yr 2010, wishes had been said and prayers had been silently done. " my new year resolutions" was the big tittle in almost every blog that i visited. everyone was so excited and naively hold on to the resolutions that they planned. Chance are, they made a new year's resolution, and broke it by the end of the year. how pathetic is that? The list of resolutions in new year never ever will ends. different people come out with different resolutions and from experience and all the cases i've witness, ALOT remain undone and little were fulfilled. Hence, i made the decision to not make any this year because i hate making promises to myself and breaking it at the end of the day. Instead, i came out with a list of " i'll try my very best ". take note that its not any new year resolutions or random promises, its just a list of things that i'll try my very best on =)

here goes the list :

I'LL TRY MY VERY BEST :

1) to cope with pressure and take control of my emotions rather than the emotions take control of me.

2)to change my attitude in facing all the workload.

3) to actually enjoy the process of model-making ( 50% there )

4) to take serious cautions on my health, my body have been sending out red signals warning me.

5) to achieve the 7/8 hours of beauty sleep as often as i can.

6) to not skip breakfast ( it will nv ever happen in a million years ) * i'll try *

7) to make amends to all the holes and bumps i've created last year

8) to rekindle my relatioship with all my best friends, buddies and soulmates. and of course to maintain the frienship i have now, with my coursemates, housies and roomies =)

9) to fold my blanket everyday after waking up .

10 ) to minimize the heap of clothes on the chair * its taking the shape of a mountain now*

11)Diet ! diet ! and DIET ! im getting fatter i think =( zoey says my face is the very shape of *cha shao pao * =(

12) to help and tutor my lil' bro on his coming PMR , although i duno how im going to do dat since im here and he's there. but we'll see.

13) to maintain my facial routine since its benefiting me now.

14) prevent from consuming oily food * but oily food always taste so god damn good !*

15) to ramp up my computer and 3d software skills

16) to regain my enthusiasm and the passion i once felt so optimistic about.

17) to read more fabuluos books * read the least books in this 3 years* extremely sad about it
=( i no longer have time for my obsession. i'll try this year =)

18) watch more movies in the cinema .

19) to learn how to regconise all the bloody directions. * its freaking hard , but please lar let me at least remember the direction to one u ! i dunwan after 4 years i have people asking me directions and i feel completely hopeless =(

20) to buy the beautiful red lizard i've alwayz wanted. and another hermit crab too ! hermit crabs are just AWESOMEEE =D

there are just way too many things i hope to try my very best on , but lets just focus on this 20 =) and leave the rest for next year . we cant do everything in one go right ? i'll just take it at a moderate pace and come back to this post on 2010 dec 31 to see how much i've achieve =)

i'll try my very best and if i cant achieve it, i'll try extra hard next year =)

Chinese New Year mode on !

OH MY ~~~ ! when the freaking hell will i finish all the bloody drawingssssss ~ amitabha , release me from all the burden of drawing PLEASE. since holiday i've been doing nothing but models and techinical drawings. geeez ! shit u ! drawings ! cant even make it for my fren's 21st b'day because of it. Anyway, i've found a way to at least make me feel more energize to complete all those bloody drawings. =D teeeheeee. CHINESE NEW YEAR TUNEEEEEES ~ bahahahahaa ~ i feel super duper energize man ! Its like the only motivation im left with now ! = D cant wait for chinese new year to come . everytime i turn on the music my heart beats 20 times faster and my whole spirit is up ! everytime i pass thru centrepoint's chinese medicine shop i feel damn happy & energize for erm . . . 10 seconds.

ahahahahahhahahahahaha ! im mad happy about chinese new year ! its exactly 4 weeks from now ! 4 WEEEKS ! ahahhahaa.

times up. okbye.

Out of the blue

Out of the blue , i miss my childhood days . . . . . . . . .

when i was small and christmas trees were tall . . . . . .

when i was just that tiny dot in that huge circle of devoted love . . . .

am still in that circle, but no longer the tiny dot. IM A HUGE DOT NOW . =)

p/s : i think im so cuteeeeee in that photo =D

here i am again . . .

hello bu10 , bye malacca. here i am again in this lil' rented room of mine with mix feelings. the emptiness and spaciaousness leave a big gap in my heart and the echo of my voices is deafening to my ears. am not exaggerating , we can hear our own echo if we talk slightly louder. one roomie gone and another coming in. cant say im excited but i know i'll soon learn to love her as much =)
(i hope). missed my hometown the moment i step in the house, but i know i have missed my housies and roomie too.

out of blue, i have the crave for kfc which i know would ended with me regretting the decision. so yeah , went for kfc with zhini and walking out with regrets and a vow to not have kfc in a long time. Tonight was suppose to be a small yum char session with cayenne and the housies but was cancelled because everyone was stuck with loads of pending homework. nvm. we'll find another one fine day =) * miss u lar cayenne. tak nampak bayang u pun till now. ur bayang has been replace with xin hui's bayang . haha. * i kept walking to your locker and walking back in dismay because the mirror is gone ! REPEATLY. * cant help it =)

while xin hui enlighten me with all the happening activities she had in the hols, zoey told me via msn that a condom was found in her room's wastebasket. she was furios ! OMG ! *sigh, ranji ar ranji, dun be so open eh. i very scare wan eh. for two weeks our housemates sees you with different guy everyday. they even hear your screams while having * eh hem * with biao ge. we very scare wan eh ! our house is already quite dark and scary dun make it darker please. wana have sex ? go somewhere else and please tone down ur screams, i dont care have a cloth stuck in ur mouth or seal ur mouth with masking tapes or wat, just be quiet ok!

obviously, im not writting this post with whole effort . BECAUSE, im in the middle of dressing up models and sending them to runway =D nice man . its like the only game im interested in =D thx for the game chia yee =)

ok bye. i need to dress up my models =)

p/s: slightly nervous for tomoro. hope everything goes well =)