a note for mr razif ~

to mr razif,

seriously ,u look like a typical college boy lar, as though u r one of my classmates. but u r not. you are a great lecturer who have wide knowledge in almost every thing that one can throw to u. you are an awesome lecturer who i respect highly for ur critics in art and design ,but not when it come to project. we'll leave tis out as dis post is nt goin to be about that topic. im quite dissapointed that u r goin off ,b coz i cant possibly learn everything from u yet ,i still have alot more to learn and share ur part of knowledge that u are alwez generous in. true in words that u are alwez " twisting here and there"but to me dats jz ur lack of communication.

i've learned alot from u .,when i tot i was de pro in a topic , u were far more greater than me. its a pleasure by just pulling a chair out, sitting down and listening to ur share of knowledge. i've nothing but to say :

THANK YOU VERY MUCH AND ALL THE BEST IN UR FUTURE UNDERTAKINGS ~

may b someday we will meet in the same industry and have the chance listening to ur stories again =)

my new tatooo

huhuhuh.....my kneeee....i tatooed my knee with dis new image ~nice huh .went to pulau ketam and got myself into a bicycle accident =.= i didnt bump into anyone....dat somebody bump into me =( and dat silly guy have the gut to continue talking on the phone den went off with a look and a smile for me . i was in pain de moment i fell dwn but i stil act macho told ken & zoey ...oh is all right , nt pain lar. ACTUALLY IT HURT ! well,but it went off soon . but then at night while bathing...woooo, i got this huge mark with tiny yucky red dots with blue black background.

just now while having a farewell party ..i bump into it AGAIN ! ...celaka betul hmph* well...its all right...nt pain lar =.=

心理测验

不久前做了个心理测验，解答是 ：

表面上，你看似冷漠的有些孤傲，
其实你却有不一样的热情；
在你的心底跟有对世间一切最纯真的想法。
你有情却不多情，
你可以改变却不善变。
肤浅的异性不会接近你，
走进你世界的比定是有内涵的人。

哇。。。超准的，除了那段看似有些孤傲冷漠。
我哪有冷漠孤傲？才不是呢！ 可能有时比较静而已。

对对！ 我对世界有最纯真的想法 ，
不是我笨！我一点都不笨！是人家把我当笨而已。

对对！我可以改变却不善变！我能不代表我喜欢。

对对！我就喜欢有内涵的人 =）不过我也喜欢会音乐的人=）

cheer up friend

after reading a friend of mine's blog, suddenly i realise sometimes,things may nt seem to be wat u see thru ur eye. u may think that tis person is de most funniest and most empty headed fren u hav,but den it may nt seems to be the truth. wat we interprete thru our eyes are no longer the only truth anymore. i've been practising it often by nt judging people with one second look as well as nt judging people by the content that came out of his /her mouth. but today was quite a sad thing for me to learn that from a friend. i often tot that he is de silliest friend i have ,but it may seems that it is actually de opposite of all my believes.

we went out yum char at night and was as happy as i tot everything is, coz we no longer have projects to rush for. halfway thru , something happened, phone calls came in, the guy walkout,den comebc with a nt so alright face and den we were all hush back with reason ,may be to me it seems to be excuses that something happened to his family. at first i tot ok, may b dis time it is reli family matter,but then it doesnt seems dat way when i read the blogs.

and then everthing came out, it was not as we tot it was. haih, and he wasnt as joyful as we tot he was when he laughs out loud, he wasnt as relax as we were as we tot. he wasnt as happy as we saw from his face. it kind of make my heart ache while reading his blog, b coz he is quite close with us and i knw how sad he is. but theres nothing for me to do as he doesnt say it out and its not my part to be involve. anyway. just wants to tell him badly that,u still have a bunch of frens who cares about u , and ur life is nt as dull as u think when u change ur perception as well as
perspective. there is so much more of life other than wat u see now,and u reli dun have to pretend infront of us . jz walk away or go off when u r upset . u dun have to force urself to bring us out when u r upset or to think of excuses to hide ur frustrations because, we dun mind. friends doesnt need ur explaination they understand.

hope that u recover soon which only u urself knw it as we may not see it, bcoz u r alwez hiding ur true emotions. and we'll be there for u when u need someone to talk to ~ cheer up friend~

混乱

心里一直都在逗留着某些情绪挥删不了，
复杂混乱的让我无能为力，
当我觉得不再在意时，
它却变本加厉。
有时很好奇的，
想把它当是达文西密码，
那样揭开。
但它就不是啊。
怎么办呢？
=（
就给你多一段时间吧～

reasons why i dun like my model

yesterday was a wreckage , i screw up all my dun-give-up-hang-on mood freaking off and start worrying tis and dat. all the contribution goes to my lack of confindence and a pair of weird eye balls. despite of frens conforting me and giving me an approval nod for my model, it did nothing magic on me. dat inner me jz keep on telling me ur models are de ugliest among them. plain dull and nothing special. i duno why, despite of lecturer and classmates good comments, but i reli honestly still dun like my gallery model.*sigh

1st - i think deciding a pink gold white and silver colour for it makes it look more like a fairy thinghy and its so pinkish dat i think it jz looks like a poly pocket * those small carry along barbie doll house. from my eye view, my gallery looks like a toy. and dat is de last dat i wan for my shopaholic gallery.

2nd - comparing to others, my gallery space is too plain. i cant seem to think of a good graphic image to put in, and when i do i dun have an appropriate full length paper for my wall :( my wall is damn long and curvy. urghhhhh! den i might as well give up thinking of it,but then every time i look bac at my model, it jz reminds me hw plain it looks.

3rd - i did a mistake from the beginning by constrcuting the wall abit too high. although its still within the measurement given, but halfway thru my project i realise it is abit too high. which contribute to the plainess of my gallery. =(

4th - worrying too much wether my gallery wil be over literal for the lecturers ? although my concept and ideas are wat i wish and will expect of a book gallery if there were a real wan in one u , but it may seems too literal to the lecturers ..=( dat add up to my moodiness.

5th - and de major wreckage came from my favourite lecturer which is nt my favourite in dp class :( although i have full respect and admire him alot of his *bijakness , but he is one helluva lecturer. the whole worry thing was me creating thousand of questions dat he would think of to reject my model. and his rejection on xin hui's and shennese's previous models doesnt help at all.
thru out tis project process, i created thousand of questions dat he would ask , and i created thousand of answers dat i can have to prepare myself for his question, but i too created thousand of question dat he can reject my answers =(

hence, in the end i cant take it and start freaking off. this morning class calm me dwn abit b coz he actually likes my model, thinks my colour combination is good, having de femenine and luxury feel which is good for my shopaholic concept. and he like my material wise *roll eyes. god dat was de last i expected. then , he likes my form and think dat it is fun & he especially likes the gold platform which is de only thing i like in my model. =( but it still havent done any magic on the way i look at my model and looking at other more creative and nice models makes me feel so
* zi bei * on my own model. * may be after a few days of nt looking at my model, i will only den think ...hey actually its not bad. hopefully ~

i knw i dun have de right attitude in my projects but i cant do anything to improve it. *sigh, hw can i be more confident abit ?? how ?? i still have alot to learn. hopefully as time goes by i can be more confident in my projects.

p/s: thx cayenne, zoey and xin hui for all de encouragements and ideas on improving my model.
thx ~ fun having u guys to do project with =)

being emo ~

okay, dis is de third post for today ...*sigh , all three different post wif different emotions . seee ?dats how emo im . from the first post being unsure about my self-confidence , second being emo for not having de same attitude as my classmates in project-ings , till this de third post which will be about ......im feeling ok and better now ! after chatting craps and stuff with cayenne suddenly ,my mood is back. *sigh ....why m i so emo a ?? my emotions evolved like a rush of waves =.= nvm lar , im very sure tomoro would be de same. i wil start to whine den lose my confidence den im goin to complain again and then im goin to b better again =.= AND very sure dat this will go on till the project ends. * sigh ~ and i dun even knw i post dis up for wat ? its all craps but, its my blog mah so i blog wat i wan lar xP . kind of like shiok sendiri =.= coz i usually dun tell ppl i have blogs . hmmmm...dis blog is jz for a few frens and some very close ones, but *sobs ....the closest ones doesnt even have time to go online and hav no interest for blogs T T ( all those malacca frens ulu *hmph , nt active in blog de ! gona phsyco u guys when im bc )

dear secret voices, so is jz goin to be me and u lar ..eh speak to me leh ..reply me leh ...
ur name is secret voices mah, im ur owner u shud speak to me =.= ...........oklar , im sleepy d lar , nw den i realise i type de same as i talk when im sleeepy ....all rojak and craps ~

烂透了

钻牛角尖 ～。。。为啥么我总是那么的爱让自己痛苦呢？ 为何不学人家轻轻松松的面对所有的困难呢？烂透了！人家都在学着，我为什么就不为自己加把劲呢？烂透了!