im saving saving saving !!! i knw i knw i knw !

dear parents ,

sorry dat i insist on having dat amount of money left in de bank for me. im sorry ...but plz dun think dat im using dat amount of money spending on accessories , shoes clothes , cosmestics ...or my favourite things ...or as u and papa would say " a pile of useless rubbish " its nt like u all dun understand me ...do i look like some empty minded girl who will simply spend as much as i like ?? as i want to ?? well dat would be wat i reli wan to do if im rich , but i knw i cant now coz i kwn de limit and i dun have the investment in doin it ! and i knw u all send me here to study nt to spend money on stupid things . but aaargghhh ! for god sake .....do u knw how hard is it surviving in kl ?? having a bunch of frens who frequently visit some expensive restaurant .....who frequently make a visit to cinema ....who sometimes organize trips .....taking up de most expensive course in de college ....having to buy thousand of materials for projects ( mind u its nt cheap) .....AND .....i knw we r not super rich , but we r nt poor too, i knw u all jz dunwan to let me simply spend on useless things ..i knw u all mummy would love to use dat money to buy accessories for the house including my room ..I KNW I KNW I KNW !! .....

but its hard ..its reli reli reli hard for me ..do u guys even realise dat ?? i try so so hard nt to spend on extra useless things ...i try super hard nt to go to expensive restaurant and eat food dat is out of my budget ...i even tried nt eating when they went to an expensive restaurant once. i choose nt to eat expensive food and go buy some karipap to eat, and do u knw hw hard is dat ?? i was damn hungry and would reli love to try on dat restaurant's food ..but I DIDNT coz i knw i dun have de money to do it ! i rather save money to buy materials. i try to suggest some cheaper place to eat ..but u knw i reli cant do much ...no one listen to me whenever i suggest some cheaper place ...and nt veryone hav to follow me eat cheap food rite ?? dey have their own life, and we follow majority , with me alone how can i change all of their minds, although i reli hope dat i can stay at home cook and eat ..BUT ...but ...do u knw im scare dat after a few more times i would b left out !

dey love goin to cinema ..to my dismay . to be honest i would reli reli love to go visit de cinema whenever dey suggest goin. as often as possible i dun mind ...BUT I DIDNT !! b coz i knw i cant do dat coz im saving for materials and food ..i dun have exra money to do dat ...and i tried several times nt to follow them ..reli i swear ! ..i didnt follow them a couple of times ..and de result is ....they say i dun like social life ..i dun follow them, dey say y m i so un- social ...and dey even say someday may b i will choose a guy who love to stay at home nt goin anywhere. do u knw how hurt and angry i m listening to such comments ?? do u think i like it alot nt to follow ...?? jz b coz i dun have de money to do all those activities ! im scare dat i would b left out after several times nt following them to movies or dinner or shoppings . so i choose to follow them with a heavy heart , trying to spend as little as possible. i can go shoppings with them without buying anything. in fact ..dats what i alwez do , go empty handed come bc also empty handed. do u all hw much i desire to buy those beautiful dresses and accessories ?? BUT I DIDNT BUY IT ! COZ I KNW I KNW I KNW !

its reli hard. whenever its de time to buy materials i would save and save and i reli dun mind saving but ....sometimes with a bunch of frens u reli cant save too much, like i say i reli think im goin to be left out if i join them less. and papa , mummy ...sometimes ..sometimes i need to buy things for my own also rite ?? how can a girl nt buy anything for herself ?? garrrghhhh....i long to have them buy didnt jz b coz i knw i cant and dat would make my money less ..i did it b coz of u all and here u guys thinks dat im some stupid selfish daughter dunwan to give all de ptptn money to u guys, trying to sabotage the money. i tried so hard here spending less ....i hate nt having enuf money for all de materials and activities ...but i dunwan ending up oweing people money ...i dunwan end up oweing hundreds....so i spend reli less. can u guys understand it ???? plz ????? and college life is damn bloody expensive ok ...today u have a hundred.... BOOM ....end of the week everything vanish !

THE FOOD IS BLOODY EXPENSIVE !
MY MATERIAL IS BLOODY EXPENSIVE !
ACTIVITIES ARE BLOODY EXPENSIVE !
LIFE IN KL ARE BLOOOOOOOODDDY EXPENSIVE !

so papa and mummy plz do understand me ~

love
daughter adeline ~